To My Daughter (Part 2)
When I was growing up and especially when I was in school, I wasn’t a very confident child. Maybe I pretended to be from time to time, but internally I would even get stressed if a teacher asked me to read aloud in class.
I didn’t like being asked what I wanted to grow up and become. I just knew that I wanted to grow up because childhood was stressing me out! It’s so weird to say that now, because I’m sure most adults will tell you how much they miss being a child and how quickly it passes you by. I see children today though, with so much exam stress, tuitions, social media related anxiety and peer pressure. And adults are facing even more pressures than I imagined as a child. So many people are struggling, and the ones who aren’t struggling are concerned that they should be struggling more because they have romanticized struggle in their minds.
I think I’m also sharing all these things with you to remind myself of everything I want to keep holding on to, and the things I wouldn’t want to forget.
So here it goes again…
- My father once told me that being passionate about something means being willing to work hard. If you don’t want to work hard towards something, then you’re not truly passionate about it. No matter what you decide to do, know that it’s the most beautiful feeling in the world when your hard work pays off.
- Sometimes things don’t work out the way we plan. We work hard at building a career or building a relationship and it doesn’t fall into place. It’s not always a reflection of something you could have done differently. Sometimes the universe just has another plan for you.
- If things work out and all your dreams come true, it won’t mean as much if you cannot celebrate that win with the most important people in your life. Your biggest cheerleaders will make the win even more incredible than you could have imagined.
- My boss told me that nothing at work should stress you out so much that you start crying. You’ll make mistakes, you’ll learn from those mistakes, and the learning is important. But amidst all that, don’t forget to ask people for help. Sometimes someone in your life will have the answers you don’t have. You’re not a superhero and you can’t do it all alone.
- I wish parents were superheroes but they are not. I may also make mistakes sometimes. I may also not have all the answers sometimes. But we can talk about it all, okay? We’ll figure it out together ❤
- I saw this reel where Tom Hanks reminded me of a well-known phrase — this too shall pass. I don’t think you’ll know who Tom Hanks is. Actually, maybe reels are also old fashioned by the time you see this but I heard him say it and it’s helped me the most in tough times. No matter how tough it gets sometimes, remind yourself that it will pass.
- As scared as I was to read aloud in class, sometimes facing your fear is the way to move forward. It’s also the way to fight it and win!
- Sometimes it’s okay to take a step back, breathe, prepare yourself and then face your fear. You don’t have to jump into the pool because you’re scared of the water. The water won’t go anywhere… and even if you put one toe in at a time or decide that today is not the day to test the water, that’s okay.
- Don’t ever feel pressured to stay stuck in a commitment of some kind till death do you apart. If you aren’t feeling as connected to something you are doing, it’s okay to re-think. You can always change your mind.
- My mother once told me that building a relationship takes time, ending it only takes a couple of minutes, and re-building it will take even longer. And my father once told me to sleep on it. I have always believed that it’s not good to hold anything in… let it out and let it go! But first, sleep on it. If you feel very strongly about something, you can say it tomorrow morning also.
- At some point in your life, I want you to watch a show called This Is Us… I have a lot I want to say about it but I’ll wait for you to watch it, and then we can discuss it in depth and detail :)
One of my most favourite quotes from the show that I want to end with and which I believe in my heart is going to stand completely true for you is…
You’re going to find your balance…And then you’re gonna lose it, and then you’re gonna find it again. That’s the ride. And you’re gonna make a lot of choices, and I’m probably not gonna be around for all of them. But the choices you make are gonna be spectacular, because you are spectacular.
